Monday, February 8, 2010

For Stuart, On The Occasion Of His Second Birthday. A Poem, Entitled "You're A Terrible Cat, But I'd Take You Over A Monkey Any Day."

Stuart, you're a pussycat,
You don't come from Nantucket,
You are, however, really fat,
And won't fit in a bucket.

Stuart, you're a psycho cat,
You bite and claw and scream,
I'd love to wake, and find out that
The scars were just a dream.

Stuart, you're a pesky cat,
There's nothing you aint clawed,
You've left your hair on this and that,
And stained the ironing board.

Stuart, you're a thieving cat,
You pilfer things that shine,
And never seem to notice that,
I'm angry when they're mine.

Stuart, you're an odd-ball cat,
You must have crazy genes,
Your appetite's so loco that
You'll even eat broad beans.

Stuart, you're a greedy cat,
You gobble like a hog,
You'll even curl up on the mat,
With treats nicked from the dog.

Stuart, you're a handsome cat,
With splendid hairy feet,
And though you do some stinky scat,
You're really very sweet.

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