Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Imminent Fail

Ellen comes from a reasonably intelligent family.  Now, I'm not very good with numbers, and I have trouble filling out forms without getting so nervous about making mistakes that I'll stuff them up two lines from the end and have to ask for a new one, but overall, I don't think I'm a thicky.  And the Fella is very intelligent (he has grammatical super-powers, and has even mastered rudimentary maths, but is not so good at changing washers.  Especially the one in the laundry that has been dripping for weeks and driving everyone crazy).  So, I reckon between the two of us we should be able to raise a reasonably bright child.

I know Ellen is adopted, but I would have hoped that some of our values, and calmness, might have rubbed off on her.  She has certainly been given every educational advantage, and if Sam Neill is right, the amount of steak she has been eating should have made for a Very Big Brain.

Despite all this, we are going to fail our Beginners Obedience Exam tonight.

Last week, in our final class, our (new) instructor concluded by saying, "Now, from what I've seen you'll all do fine in the test next week." Pause, then in our direction, "I'll talk to you after the class." My heart sank.  Ellen continued rolling around on her back as part of her ongoing experiment on how wide she can open her jaws.

After class, the teacher told me that it was "very unlikely" that we would pass, and also my dog was overweight.  Way to make me feel better, lady.  What other gems would she come up with to crush my fragile heart?  "Not every vet will tell you your dog needs to lose weight.  They think you don't want to hear it.  When you go to the doctor, you don't want him pointing out you are overweight, do you?"  So I am also fat.  Sigh.

The two of us will waddle off to our exam tonight.  Ellen won't mind failing.  She'll get to meet a whole new bunch of beginners next term.

Weasel-face probably won't want to talk to her any more though.

1 comment:

  1. Good luck! I'm sure you'll do something. Pass or fail, one of those. It'll be fine.


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