Thursday, July 23, 2009

Lab On The Run

Yesterday Ellen escaped.  Twice.

The first time, I was sitting in the study, and out of the window I saw a dog where no dog should be.  I rushed out, and found that two palings into the neighbour's yard were pushed out.  Using my super detectiving skills, I deduced this was done with the same rock-hard skull that had bruised my elbow the day before.

Dog was retrieved, and bricks cleverly piled up against escape route.

The second incident occurred when I was at the shops.  Received a call from the Fella to say a nice man called Neil was restraining Ellen on a leash in his front yard.  I rushed home, and saw how Ellen had climbed over my clever brick wall and pushed the palings back a little higher up the fence.  She may be the worst dog ever who is a nutcase with bizarre behaviours, but she is not dumb.

Collected Ellen's leash and walked down the street where a man called Neil in a muddied suit was holding what appeared to be four psychotic black howler monkeys that had got tangled up together and mysteriously grown extra teeth.  Neil was very nice and understanding, and I managed to get Ellen home.  Slowly and bitingly.

She was calm enough to be allowed inside after din-dins, but then this happened:

I know what you're thinking: "NOOOOOO, she was a lunatic, and there was no hope of teaching her manners, and I know you're sick of her eating your solar lights, but was there any need to massacre her in such a violent fashion??? And why would you choose to do it on the carpet???"

Actually, she's still alive.  She was just so pleased with the day's exploits that she swept my glass of wine off the coffee table with a big waggy tail.  Sigh.


  1. oh no, after all that and she goes for the wine too... but surely you need to just accept it and replace all your carpets with black ones?

  2. Neil... A name which should attract the same level of suspicion as a man (or woman - we musn't discriminate) with a funny eye or people who wear matching completely matching tracksuits (unacceptable anywhere other than one's own lounge room). Your Neil may have appeared nice but surely it was specious. Never trust a Neil. Your detectiveness needs much developed.

  3. I think you may have the same problem we had with our mostly lab-rottweiler (odd combination I know) who was an absolute master at climbing fences.

    The short version is 2 extra feet of wire fencing on top of a 6 foot fence. And very, very long morning and night walks (he got bored so started climbing - the walks stopped that).

    Oh and we neutered him, which didn't stop the climbing but did stop some of the aggression.

  4. Trouble is she's not climbing the fence - she's pushing through it with her super skull! We put some trellis over it yesterday, but she's already destroyed that. Going to have to get a bit more heavy-duty....


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