Friday, June 5, 2009

Captain Lovestain

Greetings from the Qantas Club at Los Angeles.

Our day started extremely early. Even Stuart didn't bother getting up to see what I was doing at 4:00am, but thankfully his appetite appeared at about 4:15am.

Checking in at Canberra started with some promise. "You've been upgraded on the leg to Sydney," the lady at the counter said. My heart did a little leap. Tap tap tap tap tap...... "Hmmmm, no, sorry, Business Class is full." My heart sank a little. "And the flight from Sydney to LA is full." My heart sank a little further. She perked up - "The flight from LA to New York is usually pretty quiet." Head lifted from depths of sadness. Tap tap tap tap tap......"Noooooo, actually, that's going to be full too." Dull ache in my heart and tingling sensation down my left side.

Anyway, at least me and The Fella had a seat spare between us on the domestic leg. No such luck on the next leg. Row 67, with him on the aisle and me in the centre seat. We knew the window seat was going to be occupied, and both prayed that it wouldn't be Piers Akerman.

We didn't have to wait long before a Jack Black type bloke approached us. "I'm your worst nightmare," he said. Seriously. He really said that. You're not, I thought. My worst nightmare was the dream I had involving disturbing intimacies with Andrew Bolt (which remains the main reason I can't watch Insiders). Turns out Jack Black guy wasn't nightmarish at all. Took more than his share of arm room, but in fairness, he had to put up with my night terrors after I fell asleep watching Watchmen. Which answers that question about who watches the watchmen. Me.

We were welcomed to the flight by Captain Lovestain. I have nothing to add to that.

Flight was shorter than expected at 12.5 hours, so could have been worse. Got through customs without any dramas in LA, except for a beagle that took particular interest in my backpack. Anyone who knows me knows that there is NO WAY I was carrying fruit. I suspect the dog's interest was raised becuse a certain cat peed on the bag yesterday. It was well-washed, but a beagle's nose is mighty powerful.

Off to New York in an hour. Have to go now to eat as many pastries as I can in that time.

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