Sunday, May 31, 2009

The Unbearable Lightness of Stuart

This (via Jennifer Daniel) made me laugh.  Then it made me sad.  And then I got cranky and hungry.

One sandwich and a small piece of cake later, I'm back at the computer.  Now, where was I? Aaah, that's right - I wanted to tell you about my cat.  

People are universally unkind about Stuart the Cat.  Despite the triumphant claim in the weekend paper that "Curvy is back", I've yet to notice a shift in society's attitudes.  Well, mostly.  People are happy to accept the ample bosom of Scarlett Johansson, and the good-natured muffin-top of John Goodman, but they still feel free to be extremely impolite towards cats who are perhaps a little more bootylicious than the ideal feline form.

Not that Stuart is huge - he has a lot of hair, and his bones are extremely robust for a domestic cat.  Also, he has a curvature of the spine that makes his belly brush against the ground.  And it's not that he can't lick his bottom, he just chooses not to.  And frankly, who'd blame him?

So, this is a cat I saw in Damascus:

This cat clearly has an eating disorder.  I bet he's on the Atkins diet - I was eating a pastry when I came across him, and he looked at me with disdain, and then licked his boy-bits, just to show me he could.  Just look at the smug bastard.

Whereas this is what Stuart looks like (I've included an arrow, because he can be quite hard to spot when he's hiding in the grass):

Stuart eats carbs.  And he's very happy.  And he's got a very healthy body image.  And they reckon now that BMI isn't such a good measure of obesity, so we think he's just fine.

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