Friday, April 24, 2009

Quantum of Hommus

Have struck a small blogtastrophe in that blogs and social networking sites are not openly accessible here and require some back-door shenanigans that are best avoided (no, not that kind). However, thanks to the genius and generosity of the wonderful nerdonsafari, ataxophile will now be published out of Australia. I can't see the blog, but can still read your comments, so please keep them coming! I'll publish them when I'm back home.

So. It has been a very, very long week. Over ten days I have drawn 38 pages of horrible pots, had 19 breakfasts, 34 cups of tea, and 18 fried things, and have thought 143 uncharitable things about people. There's lots of time to think when you're hunched over a drawing table for nine hours a day.

Highlights as I recall them:

Tuesday: Arrive in the village and unpack stuff. Try not to breathe in too much rat poison. Discover a litter of kittens on top of one of our boxes. The villagers proclaim them "disgusting". They are not. They are adorable and have tiny little blue eyes. However, the box is covered in "birthing matter", and IS disgusting. We move it somewhere quiet and decide not to unpack it. Mum removes the kittens to safety later on.

Wednesday: A thick fog covers the village and me and my room-mate go for a walk before breakfast. Village is very pretty when there are no children around.

Now, there's not enough running water to test that whole "water going down drains in the wrong direction thing" in the northern hemisphere, but notice one oddity that I attribute to latitude: things get "blue-eye" rather than "red-eye" in photos. That, or this sheep is possessed. Wouldn't rule it out.

Today is the first proper day of work. Good grief. I hate drawing. Am cheered up when M produces deep-fried omelettes for lunch. Deep-fried I tells ya! Have an orange to counter-act the badness and deliciousness.

Thursday: More of the same, but replace deep-fried omelette with deep-fried battered eggplant. I'm sensing a theme developing. Hot water is connected today and have first shower. I'm not as tanned as I thought I was. Can also run fingers through hair now, and children seem less frightened. Tonight I dream there is a coordinated terrorist attack all around the world. The Australian target is Craigieburn. It is completely destroyed by some kind of sonar bomb that leaves no scorching. Craigieburn. Oh, the humanity.

Friday: We get to sleep in as this is supposed to be a day off. M goes to Aleppo, so we fend for ourselves in the kitchen and there is much rejoicing and eating of many things. Am soothed from bad dream by pancakes. They helped some, but what would really have helped would be more pancakes. M returns in the evening with chickens and there is more rejoicing. Some chicken is smuggled to the kittens' mum and she says thank you in Arabic. We can't understand her.

Saturday: The most boring of days.

Sunday: Deep-fried zucchini for lunch today. Thank God. Was desperate for oil. Discover that I really am crap at maths and everyone was right after all. Try to work out circumference of a pot with a 42mm radius. Come up with 1825cm. Feel that's not right. Then remember that I only need the diameter and I double the radius. Hard even for me to stuff that one up.

Monday: You know, the thing about Bloggery is that you can't always be as forthright and honest as you might be when talking to your friends down at the club. But I digress. Today everyone is really enjoying everyone else's company, and I'm amazed that there are NO TENSIONS WHATSOEVER. Extraordinary. There is a moment of excitement today when some strange men come and remove our compound door with no explanation. They return it several hours later with a shiny new lock on it. Nobody has a key.

Tuesday: There has been a crisis that has threatened to close the dig down: no tonic can be found in Aleppo, and there is much distress and shakiness. And inventiveness. Evenings see mixing gin and lemon squash (the favorite option), gin and cola (interesting), gin and fanta (bright and cheerful), and even one adventurous gin and Jagermeister (least popular). M goes into Aleppo to try and get tonic (oh, and to pick up two new team members). No luck. We get two new people, but the factory that makes tonic has closed down. Probably because we have been away for a year. Lemon squash runs out. It's getting frightening. I back out of the compound and lock myself in my room, leaving scattered people clutching knees, rocking and sobbing.

Wednesday: Wake from a dream that a government minister has died, and the House sings Amazing Grace in his honour. The Libs sing it the best because they have stacked their benches with opera singers. Also, a big red macaw comes to the window with a box of tissues for me. Today I notice clouds of rat poison coming off the bags of pottery I'm drawing. This might explain dreams. Try not to breathe and give thanks that I'm not a rat. Probably wouldn't have been invited if I was. Rats are crap illustrators.

Thursday: Today. Hurrah! Clean clothes and a falafel. What more does a girl need? Am looking forward to a night on the town. Maybe even another falafel this afternoon.......

I leave you with some words of wisdom from the intersection near the village.

1 comment:

  1. I think you should definitely stop breathing the rat poison.

    Everything can be solved by pancakes (except weight gain, naturally.)


Free Blog Counter