Sunday, August 2, 2009

Properties Of Various Products In My Bathroom Cupboard That I Could Not Convincingly Or Honestly Apply To Myself

  • Rich
  • Pleasant smelling
  • Light, non-greasy
  • Does not contain alcohol
  • Hard working
  • Soft and gentle
  • Suitable for babies and children
  • Water and dirt repellent
  • Practically invisible
  • Economical
  • Will not stain clothing
  • Product of France

6 comments:

  1. Wearing my editor hat, I must ask - could you not convincingly or honestly apply the properties to yourself, or the products?

    I know you detest pretense and falsehood in your ablutions, so perhaps it is both.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You've got me, Livebird. I was actually trying to make myself more interesting by creating that ambiguity. It is, in fact, both. But only the final point applies to products - I could never convincingly or honestly slather myself with something made in France.

    Now, snatching your editor hat rudely from your head and jamming it over my fashionably unwashed hair, I must ask you - is it "pretense" or "pretence" I abhor?

    Let the battle of the nerds begin.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Could you not use French-derived products for political or other reasons?

    ReplyDelete
  4. I just don't want to smell like Gerard Depardieu.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Damn you, Lissy... you stole my glory with your crowning rebuke! Back under my editor rock I go.

    I wouldn't like to smell like Gerard Depardieu either. Did you see his nose in Cyrano De Bergerac?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yes. It would be hard to smell with a large plasticine nose. Even if you had a substantial one of your own underneath.

    ReplyDelete

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