Wednesday, June 17, 2009

A Most Splendid Adventure

We're back from New York, complete with non-Swine-Flu snuffles and lots of shopping bags from Macys.  Blogging was not possible while I was away for a range of reasons: it was stupidly expensive, hard to do when there's an ice-cream in both hands, and not as much fun as shopping.

Am itching to compare the city to a certain crunchy fruit, to exclaim that it is a somewhat excellent town, remark on how city business does not appear to cease throughout the night, and start disseminating communications, but am determined to avoid all cliches in this post.  

We had a super-excellent time, and learned a lot in the process.  As they say, you notice the little differences.  

For example, let's say you're crossing a road at home. You've got the little green man, and you're in a crush of pedestrians hurrying in both directions.  A Ford Fiesta screeches up to the crossing and starts honking, with the balding driver yelling out the window, and as you step in front of the car he nudges forward, causing you to scurry away in fear.  Would you:

A:  Get off the crossing as quickly as possible and thank your deity of choice that you weren't killed?
B:  Instinctively blame yourself, and feel bad that you were in the way?
C:  Stand your ground, give the driver the look of death and the finger, and scream "!@&* OFF!!!!"?

Now, let's say that instead of a Ford Fiesta it's a big white BMW, and instead of a balding man it's full of gangsta-types dripping with bling and gold teeth, and instead of Northbourne Ave you're at Times Square.

I can report that option C will make the Fella very anxious indeed, and point out the likelihood that there are firearms in the car as he drags you off the road by the ear.

Lesson One learned.

Another of the little differences noticed was food.  The enthusiasm for enormous portions, eaten at great speed is something that immediately made me feel at home.  But it necessitated the placement of this poster in all pizza joints:


The poster is a sensible idea.  This hotdog is not:



Lesson Two:  if you're asked if you want chili on your hotdog, they don't actually mean "chili". They mean another two varieties of ground up animal piled on top.


This was seen on Bleecker St.  

Yes.  I would be surprised.  Very surprised.



This is the Fella's favorite street.  Sometimes he is sooooooo immature.

This sculpture is in City Hall Park.  Let it be a warning to all to never let pigeons eat crayons.

Arty shot on top of Empire State Building.  Some would say "out-of-focus."  I prefer "arty."



This is a painting in MOMA.  I wish I paid tax in New York so I could complain about how my tax dollars were being spent.  But then secretly be delighted at the total coolness of this painting and giggle when other people weren't watching.

{Edit: Two art historians have pointed out to me that MOMA is not a taxpayer-funded institution, and therefore my joke makes no sense and also I am dumb and smell funny. Well, nobody else saw fit to comment on the financial administration of the museum, and everybody else appreciated the post for its puerile penis joke.  In your face, art historians.}

Brooklyn Bridge, from Brooklyn, in the rain.  Rain did not put us off having double choc-chip chunk ice-cream. 

We did other things too, but they'll need to wait for another post.  My fingers are too cold to go on.

2 comments:

  1. There seems to be a RATHER LARGE piece of news missing from this post. Just sayin'.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unlikely to be firearms in NYC, all things considered. Just saying.

    And congrats.

    ReplyDelete

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